There's No Such Thing As Sailormoon
by Haruko
Summary: Maybe I was on crack when I wrote this...


Author's notes: A warning that this is really not your average fic. This story is a mix of reality and… the anime-universe, let's say? Please keep an open mind. (This is a pretty Post-Modern piece. XD Now, for those of you who don't know… 

Cal - University of California Berkeley  
Clark Kerr - one of the dormitories at Cal  
RPG - Role Playing Game  
RP - Role Play

For those of you who don't know about/use ICQ... the program announces messages with the sound "Uh oh!" at default. I used it as a marker for conversational switch between people. 

    "Sailormoon is so stupid!"     "No it's not!"     "It's just like Power Rangers."     "No it's not! It's completely different!"     "Oh yeah, how's it different?"     "First of all, it's an anime. And it's got a plot!"     "What plot? Sailormoon doesn't have a plot. It's just a bunch of stupid girls running around in mini skirts screaming."     "It is not! And it's got a plot! You've just been watching the American version!"     "Tsss… whatever!" 

    _WHACK!! _

    My name's Melynda. I'm 18 and in my first year of college. Even I think I can be an idiot at times. That was me arguing with my friend Erick as we were walking to the first class of the day. He saw the SD Sailormoon on the corner of my binder and started criticizing the series. It's impossible to argue with him, so I ended up landing a solid punch on his upper arm. He hardly flinched. Oh well. If you can't already tell, I'm an avid Sailormoon fan. I have most of the anime, the manga, a three-inch binder full of trading cards, wallscrolls, CDs… I've even created a fanfiction character-her name's Haruko Ten'oh-naturally, Haruka and Michiru's daughter. Oops! Class is about to begin! 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

    It was just like any other day-it's always just like any other day. At Cal, you have no social life. That's just the way it is. Melynda and her friends, older freshmen (in that they're in their second semester) studied and lounged the rest of the day almost to waste. But of course as the ungodly hours of past-midnight crept up upon them, her friends left to study some more in their dorms. Study some more-or waste more time worrying about finals by chasing after each other with plungers and smearing creamy substances on each others' windows. 

    "Let's see who's online…"  
    Melynda flopped into her swiveling chair in front of the computer just as ICQ sounded an alert. 

     _ Uh-oh! _

    The message was from an old friend she met in Excite VP a year ago. 

    _Usagi: Hi hi! _

    Melynda grinned. "Usagi" always opened with that line. 

    _ Haruko: Hey Usa. How're you doing? _

    Usagi: Same old, same old. …Hey, have you talked to "Hotaru" lately? 

    Haruko: No, I ha 

    Uh-oh! 

    Hotaru: Hi there. 

    Melynda returned to the message she was typing to "Usagi" and erased what was already there-typing a more accurate response. 

    _ Haruko: She just messaged me. _

    And to "Hotaru"… 

    Haruko: Hi! Long time no see! How're you doing? 

    Uh-oh! 

    Usagi: Heh… I'll let you talk to her a little first. 

    Haruko: Huh? 

    Uh-oh! 

    Hotaru: Good. Setsuna-mama taught me about the Silver Millennium today. 

    Haruko: Heh. Good, you're remembering more about the past? 

    Hotaru: Oh yes. I remember how I was reborn and Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama wanted to kill me. Then I died when Mistress 9 took over my body, but I was reborn as Saturn. 

    Haruko: Sad story, yes. 

    Hotaru: It's not a story. It's true. It really happened. 

    Haruko: Yes, in the anime, it did. 

    Hotaru: Yes, but it happened in real life too. I remember now. 

    Haruko: …You're not telling me you think Sailormoon is non-fiction? 

    Hotaru: I don't think. I know. 

    Haruko: Sailormoon was Naoko Takeuchi's creation. It came from her imagination. 

    Hotaru: It came to her like a dream. They came from the alternate universe and told her the story in a dream so she can tell all of us about it. 

    Haruko: Uh… no… the company she worked for told her they wanted a story with something like girls in sailor suits. Then she created the story and the characters. 

    Hotaru: She thinks it's her imagination, but they gave her the idea. She didn't really make it up. She's just taking the credit for it. 

    Uh-oh! 

    Usagi: So… 

    Haruko: Did you talk to her at first? 

    Usagi: Yup. 

    Haruko: She really thinks that Sailormoon exists? 

    Usagi: Yeah, she's not rping either. Lemme send you something. 

    Incoming file transfer.* 

    The file was rather small and in no time Melynda was opening a jpeg file. A rather pale looking girl was in the "Hotaru outfit". Black leggings, the short skirt, and tight black top. Not much light was in the room, giving the girl-who had black hair, by the way-an eerie glow. 

    _ Haruko: OMG. _

    Usagi: You should listen to her explain how Sailormoon is real and how it came from an alternate universe or something. 

    Haruko: She was just talking to me about it. She really thinks Sailormoon exists. 

    Usagi: I wouldn't believe her, so we've stopped talking. 

    Haruko: Man, I feel like it's my fault. I introduced her to Hotaru. She didn't even know who she was until I told her in VP. 

    Usagi: It's not your fault she really believes it's true. 

    Haruko: …     To "Hotaru"… 

    _ Haruko: Hey, I'm sorry I got you into this. Sailormoon isn't real. _

    Hotaru: You didn't get me into this. I remember it. 

    Haruko: Yeah, but if I didn't tell you about Hotaru… you didn't even know who she was before I told you. 

    Hotaru: I knew who she was before I even met you. 

    Haruko: No you didn't. I was rping Haruka and I called you daughter. You didn't know what I was talking about and everyone else explained to you who the person on your av was. 

    Hotaru: Whatever. 

    Haruko: Look, Sailormoon isn't real. 

    Hotaru: You don't believe me… 

    Melynda closed the message from "Hotaru" and double clicked on "Usagi". 

    _ Haruko: Oh man… _

    Usagi: I put her on my ignore list. 

    Haruko: … 

    Usagi: Hey, I'm going to bed now. Oyasumi. 

    Haruko: Oyasumi nasai. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

    "Ya know, I've thought about tattooing a symbol on my forehead."  
    "Chee… yeah right."  
    It was the next day-still May, but somehow the subject of Halloween jumped into a comparative lit. discussion at Clark Kerr-in Erick's dorm. A couple of the people there have seen Sailormoon-the rest didn't care-and there was Erick.  
    "Man… if I can get the fabric and stuff it would be so cool."  
    "Who're you gonna be? Yer-anus?"  
    Naturally, that was Erick. And just as naturally, he was smacked behind the head.  
    "It's Uranus!"  
    "Man, I don't see what's so good about Sailormoon. It's nothing like Kenshin."  
    "Well duh, they're two different series."  
    "Sailormoon's stupid."  
    "Don't make me smack you again."  
    "What? I'm entitled to my own opinion!"  
    "Man, watch it be real… one day, Sailormoon's gonna come and kick your ass." 

    That was completely "Hotaru" inspired, no doubt… 

    "Right… Kenshin's gonna come in and slice your head off. Where are my DVDs?"  
    "What? I'm not buying you those DVDs! Especially not after what you said about Sailormoon."  
    "Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Sailormoon's like, the coolest anime ever." 

    _ Ahem!! _

    Melynda and Erick turned to see the others, collectively glaring at them, books on their laps, pens and pencils tapping irritatedly. Red-faced, Melynda returned to her book. Erick didn't seem affected though. 

    "It was her fault." 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

    "Fire, soul, bird in love. Fire, soul, bird in love…"  
    Music blaring from the CD player-it was Mar's song "FIRE SOUL LOVE". Melynda was daydreaming-as usual. The sound of glass breaking within the CD player speakers brought her back to reality. The discussion took longer than usual due to her little brawl with Erick, and Melynda was more than ready to take a nap.  
    _ Wouldn't it be funny if Luna jumped in from the window now? _  
    Melynda laughed to herself.  
    _ I really am an idiot. _  
    But she looked over at the window anyway.  
    "Baka."  
    "You talking to me?" 

    Her roommate just stepped in. 

    "No… I was just saying that to myself."  
    "Hey, who's singing that?"  
    "Minako."  


    The CD was now playing "Route Venus". 

    "Hey Chibi." 

    Melynda calls her roommate "Chibi" because they met online a long time ago in an RPG. Her roommate played ChibiUsa at the time. The world is surprisingly small. 

    "Mmm?"  
    "You talk to "Usa" lately?"  
    "Nope. You?"  
    "Yeah. Last night."  
    "You two are still so into Sailormoon. I feel kinda left out."  
    "Well, I _ have_ moved on to some other anime…"  
    "Say, didn't you say that new distro has some pretty good prices?"  
    "Yeah, I'm gonna order now, as a matter of fact-while I still remember."  
    "I'm not gonna be back tonight."  
    "'Kay. Have fun."  


    Melynda climbed onto that familiar chair again.  
    _ I can't believe no one is online…_  
    After placing an order for "Wedding Peach" she decided it was finally time to pull out that fanfic on Haruko and work on it again.  
    _ Hmmhn. This is so classic-creating a character in my image, but giving her what I wish I had. It's like having a kid and living through her. …Hah, does this make me a masochist or sadist? If I'm making her stories tragic, but at the same time, she's supposed to be me… Ah Haruka…_  
    Incessant typing. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

    Saturday. It's always wonderful when the first day of the weekend comes along.  
    "Hey."  
    "Hey you."  
    "We're not playing some anime thing today. I don't care how sexy you look in that skirt."  
    "Ah fine… I've been working too much on the Haruko fic to think anime now anyway."  
    "Good. Sometimes I worry about you-it's almost like you think it's real."  
    Melynda smiled. What girl doesn't like it when her boyfriend shows concern?  
    "Don't worry. Haruka may be hot, but she can't replace you."  
    "There you go again."  
    "Ok, ok… don't worry, I know it's not real. I'm not going to turn into some senshi all of a sudden or anything."  
    He laughed, ruffling her hair and kissing her wistful expression. Melynda smiled.  
    "So, where are we going?"  
    "I made plans for today."  
    "Oh, really. Now _ that's_ surprising."  
    She was getting in the car while that smart remark slipped out of her mouth, and he made a notion to slam the door on her.  
    "Ok, that's it, I'm not taking you anywhere tonight."  
    "Aw man…"  
    He grabbed Melynda playfully by the wrist and led her back into his apartment.  
    "And what're we gonna do here? There's nothing to do here."  
    "Oh no?"  
    He slammed the door behind them and pushed her against it-kissing her feverishly. Not far into this wild display of lust he paused. As Melynda opened her mouth to ask, he put a finger to her wet lips. She was pinned to the door, his body leaning heavily on hers. For once she felt his heart beat faster than hers.  
    "Melynda… I-I love you."  
    Time stopped.  
    How could something like that possibly happen? It's never happened before, and surely Melynda hadn't planned on hearing it for a while-and especially not from him.  
    "Melynda?"  
    "Huh?" dazed.  
    "Melynda, what-you're glowing!"  
    He stood back and stared.  
    "What are you talking-"  
    Her hands, in front of her, were indeed glowing-glowing a silvery blue. He stood there, gaping at her.  
    "Oh my god…"  
    Afraid, but too curious, Melynda walked slowly to a standing mirror nearby. She looked, and nearly died of shock. Her entire body was glowing through her clothes-all silvery blue. And on her forehead… was a planetary symbol.  
    "Oh my god." 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

    "Melynda, wait up!"  
    Erick jumped off the bus and hopped a few steps to catch up with her.  
    "Hey Erick. How was your weekend?"  
    "Homework. You?"  
    "Meh."  
    Erick looked at her binder again. This time it was filled with Sailormoon characters.  
    "What the heck? I thought I told you Sailormoon was stupid."  
    "No she isn't."  
    "What do you mean 'she'? She's not real. She doesn't exist."  
    "I know."  
    Melynda smiled at him mysteriously and continued walking.  


Authors ending notes:  
Well, that was it… an experimental piece done all in one day. I've never written anything in this… style before. The characters here are mostly real… the real names have been substituted. Not all events that happened were real though, obviously… But scary as it is, I did know this "Hotaru" and we did have an extremely similar conversation. And "Erick"… I have yet to beat him up.   
Haruko Ten'oh is © 1998 "Haruko"  
As always, comments, advice and tips are greatly appreciated and welcome. Thank you for reading. =) 


End file.
